She Took Her Life Back. Stopping The Blame Game.

You are responsible for your life.  You can’t keep blaming someone else for your dysfunction.  Life is really about moving on. ~ Oprah Winfrey

It’s fair to say that we are all survivors of life. We have all been hurt, let down and emotionally wounded in our time.

It’s as much a part of living as feeling happy and loved. If we are really honest, we all have dysfunctional traits, self-sabotaging ways and playing the blame game is often one of them.

I left my legal career because I burnt out. I burnt out sooo badly that I knocked a man off a bike one day on the way home from work. Life slapped me back hard for my lack of care for myself.

I was ruined, my friends. I let ruin be the making of me as I went after the life of my dreams and moved to Spain.

In the months that followed my move to Spain, I’ll be honest and say I was a little angry that I’d burnt out. My ego was bruised, so to speak. I knew why I’d burnt out. I was hiding in my work from the effects of a traumatic childhood.

It’s far easier to point our little fingers at those around us and play the blame game.

There’s no doubt about it – our hurts and our wounds are often at the hands of others, especially those that arise in our childhood. Pain, grief, suffering, anger, insecurity, disinterest in life and a lack of trust are the residual feelings that are left, resulting in fear which we then go on to project at others and often through the blame game.

It is a limiting and self-sabotaging game that often starts with the word “you” and involves an awful lot of finger-pointing and throwing negative emotions at around.

Let’s face it – it’s an easy option to continue to blame others for our insecurities, issues and wounds instead of stepping up to the plate and taking responsibility for who we are in the now.

When we play the blame game, we remain stuck in the past and wounded. The blame game stops any form of transformation through healing and, without healing, we can’t move on and develop a healthy and happier way of being.

The blame game can also be used to exact some kind of revenge when we feel wronged. Always remember that the greatest revenge is when we feel no need for revenge at all. It’s moving on with our lives and no longer allowing the past to affect us.

When we drop the blame game, we are not saying what has happened to us is okay. Instead, we rise above the situation to allow the healing to begin and start moving forward. We liberate ourselves, not only from our past but also our self-sabotaging ways. By taking responsibility for ourselves, we take our life back into our own hands.

Forgiveness need not follow immediately but the journey to healing our wounds starts with accepting personal responsibility for who we are today, with compassion, rather than pointing the finger of blame at what was done to us in the past.

Only when we accept personal responsibility for exactly who we are at this moment in time are we ready to step up and start the journey of healing and transforming ourselves for the better.

So if you feel yourself fall into the trap of the blame game, rise above it. Step into your power and look within to free yourself.

(c) Samantha Wilson 2019.  All Rights Reserved,

Samantha is a Life Coach and writer. She inspires her tribe of women to grow wilder and bolder with her tales of adventures, lessons learnt along the way and general musings on life.
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