I’m not afraid of death.
I’m afraid of not living, afraid that my fears will get the best of me.
I’m afraid of allowing my soul to slowly shrivel up and dry out from lack of passion and purpose, or curiosity and adventure.
Not all fear is negative. Some fears propel us to take action in our lives.
When I take my last breath and my bones are laid to rest, I want my epitaph to read “She Was Free.” Nothing more, nothing less because living a life of freedom, on my terms, is my goal.
I came across an old advertisement on YouTube yesterday, Bleu De Chanel: The Film featured Gaspard Ulliel ( and the video is below). The advertisement was played on the United Kingdom’s television in 2010, the last year of my legal career when my soul was rumbling away with its cry for freedom.
The words of Gaspard Ulliel telling the world “I’m not going to be the person I’m expected to be anymore,” with the walls around him crashing down, resonated on such a deep level.
I’m not a fan of advertising and, obviously, I didn’t go out and buy the aftershave. Yet, Gaspard nailed exactly what I felt inside. He stoked the fires within, leaving me with a chill running up my spine, and goosebumps on my skin. He spoke my heart’s desires.
The time came when the rumbles of my soul finally erupted, and enough was finally enough. I found my voice and my cry was freedom—to be free to make my own choices. To make my own rules to live by. To live by my own moral compass. To decide for me what is right and wrong.
Free from the effects of the opinion and judgement of others. To no longer need to fit in a box—a cage of fear.
Freedom to ride the wheel of fortune, to make mistakes, to crash and burn, to rise again, to die a million little deaths and be reborn over and over.
Free to express myself as I wish, to use my voice, to ride a wave of my own creation, to do with my life what I choose.
Freedom to set my boundaries and say no to anything that offends my mind, body, and soul
To be free from emotional manipulation and the call to capitulate to the rules of society. To take radical self-responsibility to live life right.
Freedom to live and let live. Dropping judgement and accepting that everybody has the freedom to choose how they live.
Free to live a life of passion and purpose, always on my terms.
To be the queen of my own life and absolutely own it—the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Freedom is what my soul demands of me, and I want to live by the line “She Was Free.”
Paulo Coelho talks about fighting the good fight in a number of his books. The quest for freedom is to fight the good fight. It is to fight for what is right for you. If everyone fought the good fight, the world would change.
Somewhere along the line—when you choose to fight the good fight—there’s a big realisation that the fight is with yourself, not other people, circumstances, or situations. Other people, circumstances, and situations are just in the way, and they will show you the ways in which you are not free.
The struggle and the fight is one with yourself, and freedom comes from within—from the strength in your convictions, the passion for your purpose, and a voice to ask for what you want.
That is when the door of the cage that contained you finally opens. That is when the walls of limitation crumble to the ground.
This is when you break the mold.
You are free and freedom has no limits.
So, fight the good fight, my friends. Allow your soul to rumble. Find your voice and let it cry for freedom. Break the mold, and tell me this:
What will you do with your one wild and precious life?
Enjoy my musings? Check out my first book, The Adventures Of A Wild Woman On The Camino De Santiago, my story of an adventure of a lifetime. Available to order now. Click the link below for details.
(c) Samantha Wilson 2019. All Rights Reserved